I haven’t cut my hair in some years and I feel bad when I drive by the old barbershop. I have to fight the urge to go in there and apologize to my barber. I just decided to grow my hair out, didn’t even give him an explanation…I just stopped going.
A man and his barber…
It’s decided, I’m a horrible person.
I love my black people…right up until we have to do business together. We’re never on the same level.
It’s crazy to think that one day you’ll cease to exist,and it’s crazy how none of my wishes would have happened.
How much I give and give yet when I’m so close, the universe pulls you away.
I know it’s crazy to think, but it doesn’t really look like you resist.
I know you love so effortlessly, and to ask would make it a task…but…
I try, even when I know that I don’t have a chance.
I would’ve stopped long ago if it were my mind that moved my feet.
I’ve lapped the world three times now, just to make it look like we’ve met by chance, to only be stopped at the same place.
I know this dance.
Soon as I yell out for your attention, and you’re seconds from turning around and seeing my face, just mere moments from validating my existence…
A truck appears, blocks your view or an unnecessary meaningless obstacle appears and steals away your attention before you give it to me.
It’s crazy how easily I can lose you again.
She’s most pretty when she’s carefree. I know life’s hard and she can’t always be, so I offer to shoulder some of her pain. Eventually I’ll burden it all so she doesn’t have to mask it by crying in the rain. Instead, I want her to dance in it. I want her to be the perfect picture of glee. I want to be the one to resurrect one of our queens, put a new coat of paint on her pedestal and show the world the pretty woman I see.
A certain stapler has appeared in my dreams in some way or another for the past couple of months. I tore my room apart to look for it and it was the exact stapler, I haven’t seen it in years but I dreamt it so perfectly that it frightened me. Why was it littered throughout my dreams? Does it have any significance? I wonder..
my promise to you
I mean…we don’t have to get married. No rings, no preacher, no crowd, no fuss..you+me= just us. How about we sit on the beach and have a conversation, the conversation. You know, that one conversation that’s filled with all the things two people who are in love and want to spend life together should have. At the end of the conversation, let’s make a promise, The promise.
But…can we have cake afterwards?
Standing up against ill treatment of others, but fall madly in love with the person who hurts you the most because they somehow convinced you that you don’t deserve to be treated like everyone else.
have you seen her?
still looking for the one whose broken pieces fit perfectly where mine no longer can.
she shyly does new things and I can gauge her fear by how tight her grip is as she holds my hand.
an unmistakable laugh and an addictive smile.
crazy hair, and embarrassed when I stare lovingly at how much of a mess she is.
comfortable in her unpolished moments but doesn’t mind getting dressed up for the hell of it.
she’ll be loud to my quiet, and soft to my harshness.
no matter how much I’ll say it she’ll get upset when I call her perfect, but I’ll never let her say a self-depreciating word when I’m near.
she’ll get obsessed with the dumbest things and will want to tell me all about it and the only way to quiet her is to kiss her…and she’ll still be mouthing what she has to say as I do..because that’s how invested she gets into things.
i’ll admire her rawness, her vulnerability. i’ll take it upon my self to protect her but she’ll end up sacrificing herself to save me from having to.
selfless, loving, passionate, soft, kind, stern, invested, smart, quirky,…
i can call her all of that, but i would never call her…mine.
she’ll rub off on me and i’ll have thoughts like, “i can’t keep her to myself, she’s the world’s.”
her free spirit will leave me from time to time but she’ll find some new dumb thing to call and tell me all about and though i don’t care anything about it, I’ll cling to every syllable of every word she fixes her heart and lips to say to me.
because I’ll love her that much.